Memoirs of a Ginger

Ju

2010-06-10T18:24:00.000-07:00

I've been searching for you for so long.

2010-06-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

2010-05-07T18:09:00.000-07:00

I'm really bored and I feel weird most of the time.

Age regression exists inside my closet and the longer I stay here the faster it seeps out from beneath the door. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

I Carry the Smell of My Lovers Balls in My Hand

2010-04-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

Dear Earthlings,

When I first came to this planet I knew there had to be at least one beautiful thing about it.

Beneath the filth which casts molds over human bodies and the decay of rotting brains and hearts.

The suffocation of stuff, technology, machines, superhighways, apartments, landfills, and malls.

I can't breathe.

And then, when the stars are aligned, I am lifted up into space.

To travel back to my planet where beauty exists greater and more wholesome than yours.

Your planet and mine,

We're all going to purgatory if we're not there already,

Wish Upon a Scar

2010-03-25T21:55:00.003-07:00

I wish I knew all the words to all of my favorite songs. I wish I knew what all my favorite songs were. I wish I felt like all my favorite songs were my favorite because they were MY favorite. I wish my favorite things were genuinely mine. I feel heavily influenced by other people's favorites and I often wonder if that makes them not my own.
Sometimes liking things that are "cool" troubles me because I don't know if I really even like it.
I guess it coincides with the human complex of wanting to be someone else or like someone else or be something else or be like something else. What if that someone or that something isn't even what you really want to be? Because you don't really think it's cool, it just seems cool by popular concurrence.

I know what I'm attracted to but I often wonder what it's prompted by.
Because feeling an attraction towards something is different than actually liking it.

I am also aware of what I'm not attracted to and can securely state hatred towards:

Something incredibly senseless and annoying that won't go away:

Miley Cyrus
...dressed up "PUNK"

It's disconcerting when you're told something you like is stupid. But I guess I'm guilty of it by saying that Miley Cyrus is

really
fucking
stupid.

I feel insecure about what I've written here,
Gin n' Ger

2010-02-02T12:40:00.001-08:00

My split knish really hurts right now.

Where's Bob?

2010-01-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's hard to get over feeling like God took a shit in his pants and is letting his shart drip down his pant leg and fall in big raindrops onto your head. It doesn't help to feel like the guano of the Earth.
Is everyones life falling apart? Is the whole world falling apart? Does anything make sense?

(minute 2:20)

I feel so confused all the time. I don't know what I am really thinking. I don't know what gives me these thoughts, where they come from. It seems like there is so much world to live in but so little explanation to what any of it means. It seems I live in a fantasy because so many humans have manifested so many ideas and I feel like I am floating.
To quote myself:
"I felt like I was in the Bermuda Triangle. And then I really thought I was in the Bermuda Triangle."

Yes, Maybe, No
Gang Green Ginger

2010-01-19T08:09:00.001-08:00

I think it would be beneficial to start writing in this again. I feel constipated with the load i haven't been releasing gradually. I think the last episode, journal, was like me taking a big, long built up shit.

I was reading Playboy some weeks ago, trying to see where the pieces fit in the centerfold, and was stupefied by an interview with David Bowie. It's a gem.
http://www.playboy.com/articles/david-bowie-interview/index.html
I remember when I first heard Ziggy Stardust. I remember the second time I heard Ziggy Stardust. And then I remember the 100,278,394,100,90th time I heard Ziggy Stardust.
I've never seen this Bauhaus video before, though.

I think B.O. is contagious. I don't remember having ever wreaked of an odor this potent.

This video, song, and band are all fucking retarded. But for some reason ever since I was little I've been referencing this chorus. It's like I can't escape moaning "Goldie's last day" anytime something remotely sounds like it. I just thought I'd share this torture chamber which is the inescapable section of memory for arbitrary, annoying and awful sounds and pictures. Enjoy.

God bless catharsis and the U.S.A.
Ginger

WTF STFU FTW

2010-01-16T19:38:00.000-08:00

I AM SO MAD RIGHT NOW I COULD RIP OFF THE HEADS OF EVERYTHING THAT POSSESSES ONE AND DODGE THEM AT THE BODIES THAT STAGGER SEVERED. I COULD TAKE MY OWN HEAD, JOIN THE TRAVELING CIRCUS, AND WHEN THE CANNON SHOT INTERFERE IT WITH MY HEAD. RIGHT NOW, I WANT TO STICK MY HEAD IN FRONT OF EVERYTHING THAT COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME. EVERYTHING THAT COULD DECEIVE ME. AND EVERYTHING THAT COULD HURT ME. IF I STUCK MY HEAD IN FRONT ALL THE DEVICES, MANIPULATIONS, TRAPS AND CHARGES, I'D HAVE IT ALL RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME. IT COULD NO LONGER SNEAK UP BEHIND ME. I'M GOING TO STICK MY HEAD IN FRONT OF EVERYTHING BEFORE IT CAN KILL ME. WE'RE ALL GETTING FUCKED OVER.

FUCK THE WORLD.

SHUT UP,
GINGER

2010-01-05T19:33:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I start school again
but I wish the world would end
first.

poetry by : G.F.

2009-11-15T19:21:00.000-08:00

I tried for a mili second to fix that. And then realized I don't care. I don't give a fuck.

Um, should this be on the tape?

What's up in the clirtoral hood, Rat?

2009-11-15T18:31:00.000-08:00

Oh please, Cher. Spare us.

This would be cooler if staring at their name in big, bright lights wasn't so boring.

This is my favorite thing to play on guitar. Three chords. I imagine myself singing nude behind the shield of an acoustic guitar for the soldiers. "Now presenting the Luscious Rivers Cuomo"

Haha Halfpipe...

A tape of covers and their originals is in the works.

Track One:

Fuck me on the bus.

I want to go to Pen Island for my honeymoon.
GG Foutley

2009-10-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

Is it okay to say this tattoo is scary looking?

Ribs is sitting on my lap and has her butthole on my thigh.

2009-10-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

"I'm here. You're here. I guess we should tango."

I just went to the bank to deposit some checks from the job, where I can't remember the prices of the meals, and this woman was unlocking her bike as I was locking mine. As she was leaving she said "You or me?" with a sour expression. Do I smell like last nights party? ls salami nipples for my kiddie porn collection?Do I have a freaky straightened helmet on my head and do I photograph underage girls for my kiddie porn collection?

G

2009-08-25T08:33:00.000-07:00

I guess, if I wanted to, I could lay in my bed and listen to Siouxsie and the Banshees by myself all day. It feels like a cave in here.

Since when was I allergic to cats?
Feline hatred,
Gismger

2009-08-23T19:12:00.000-07:00

Discussion with a Vampire
By: Gollum

Gollum: So, when I last checked in on you you were reading The Hobbit, are you finished?
Vampire: Yes, I finished last week.
G: And?
V: It was remarkable. You did an excellent job.
G: It was a very dark time. A very dark time it still is.But, we can discuss the tale from my point of view another time. Have you read anything else recently?
V: I look forward to it. I just finished Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs which gave me incredible nostalgia. One of the final chapters was about the book series, as well as motion picture, titled Left Behind. It was weird because I'd read some of them when I was in elementary school.
G: Aren't those the books about the rapture and how God is going to leave the sinners on Earth and scoop up the saints?
V: Yes and I know.
G: How did that make you feel?
V: I wondered less about the apocalypse and more about what I am going to be like when I get older. It got me thinking about the future. I saw myself as an ice vampire. Too frozen to be thawed.
G: You think you're cold?
V: I know I'm cold. I made myself this way, and with good reason. I like being unbreakable. It's been a lot easier to take life than when I let myself feel. But, when I thought about the future I had an epiphany that I may always be like this. I don't want to always be like this. It is only supposed to sustain me through my teens and early twenties. When happenings are still unthinkable and there is ignorance is romance. I want to learn it all in a impenetrable snowball and then when I have absorbed all there is to know, I'll roll up the stairs and into the attic on a hot summer day and let myself precipitate to the first floor and evaporate back into the harsh reality of love.
G: Will you still be a creature of the night?
V: I am nocturnal. It is my curse.
G: Would you rather be sunny and full of light.
V: I'd kill myself sooner if I was a day prancer. I just wish it was possible to be a light night crawler. A happy one. But, sometimes I feel like it's one or the other.
G: Like you can either be joyous and naive or experienced, chagrin and generally numb?
V: Yes, and I don't know where to exist. It's not as if I have a choice though. My curse has long decided for me.
G: We are all cursed, or at least think we are. I wish I could go back to being a hobbit. Living in the shire, puffing smoke rings, drinking, eating, and being merry. I'm stuck. I'm trapped forever. I guess, we all are. Like how you were saying that you made yourself frigid to the world and now you don't know if you'll ever be able to melt the ice that has engulfed your heart.
V: I don't think there is a sun or summer day hot enough to warm the blanket frozen tears I have wrapped myself in. I wear a cape of scars and the ghosts of the past are pulling me back by it. The ghosts are against me. I am one vampire versus many and much.
G: We will not conclude with that.

[article taken from The New Yorker]

2009-08-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

Question for a Vampire:
By Gollum

Gollum: So this is your first time reading The Hobbit, what do you think?
Vampire: I don't exist outside of it, anymore.I have become thinking like the narrator and its omniscience is making me feel like I can read the mind of every person I converse with and see. The only problem is the me outside my readings knows that I am, for the most part, incorrect in my interpretations. But I'll just gag the weasel and read on.

[Article taken from: The New Yorker]

What if you could be Roseanne for something more than just Halloween?

2009-08-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

I'd like to not have to talk to anyone for a while. To not have to say anything.
This is going to be one of those periods of my life that I will forget. Nothing I have done in the past month is worth remembering.
From now on I will only communicate through Roseanne. If you have any questions you may consult her. I'm not here for the time being.

Feeling Foggy,
A Ghostly Ginger

2009-07-18T15:34:00.001-07:00

If God didn't hate me I wouldn't be bloated.

Denim Blows,
G-eans

Life Is Weird

2009-07-15T10:35:00.000-07:00

If Lisa Crystal Carver could give me a haircut I'd ask her to give me a haircut of a girl who people have dibs on.

Kaysie would like the hermit.

Ginger,
Love

2009-07-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

People think I'm happy don't they?
That's weird.

Hummus,
G

When life throws you balls...

2009-07-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

You shouldn't duck but try to catch them with your tongue.

2009-07-10T08:49:00.000-07:00

I just woke and thought I was blind, but it was just eye boogers.
I've been set up. I know I have.
I receive these messages daily.
Let's begin with the most recent:

From: Morocco
HEY WASUP GIRL?I M HORNEY LOL

From:South_D_Gurl [Or as I like to call her "The Morgue"]
Hey my name is Morg, how are you doing? If you wanna get to know each other message me back. Check out my profile if you would like to know more about me.
~Morg~

From:NoOne
(Titled:mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)
WOW you look amazing
Hi how are you? I am a laid back, fun, and I give great massages too. I am built, defined, athletic, and lots of fun. Just looking for a woman who likes no drama fun and who is looking for a fun and adventurous. I am 5’8 220lbs a great overall package.
[GREAT PACKAGE. GRADE A. EGGS]

[Before I introduce you to @von lady I should inform you that I don't know him at all and have never met him. Ever. The last message is a reply from when I told him to leave me alone. Scary]
From:@von lady
[This is the closest to the most disturbing yet. I think this is actually a real person]
youre a big gay.

From:@von lady
your papa is stupid.

From:@von lady
where are you from dad?

From:@von lady
im your fat grandpa you cunty fucker.

From:@von lady
thats cool that you swear! you must be really old and cool.. and popular.. I bet the kids at community college think you are sooooo bodacious!!

From: RYAN DAVIDSON
i got a big ass dick that can be in between you on that bed like that!!

From:Silly Willy
I like your pic, you're pretty.
[This one needs the picture]

Where's my,
G-spot?

Creature Comforts

2009-07-04T12:36:00.000-07:00

Survey of a Vampire
By: Gollum

Gollum: If you could change your name to anything, what would it be?
Vampire: Mars A. Tacs or Scary Rock n' Roll
G: Why those names
V: Because they're two of my idols (excluding Billy of course). They're very special people.
G: Oh, do tell!
V: Well Ms. Tacs legally changed her name from Lopez when her beau changed his name to Hurt-My-Feelings-Boy. She's about yay high with a multicolored mane. She was saved by me (the SPCA Society for the Prevention of Crulety to Animals) when I found her in the trash pile in the neighbor's lawn. As for Scary Rock n' Roll, well that was me when I went to the grocery store this morning in my Brody Armstrong dress and snakeskin heels.
G: So you're telling me that if you could change your name to anything in the world it would be two out of the endless fictitious characters you manifest on a daily basis? One being someones trash and the other being you with a hangover.
V: Precisely! And I'm surprised you know me so well. This is turning into more of an interview rather than a survey.
G: My b. But one last thing.
V: Go on.
G: Why did Mars change her name from Lopez. Was it for her beau?
V:Mars was born an over-sexed lesbian and when she got a boyfriend and realized she was straight she shed her homosexual skin and deemed it appropriate that she also change her name. She was the greatest lesbian. Legendary. She gave me the most beautiful sex in the world. She used to have long brown hair. Her name wasn't Lopez Tacs either. Just Lopez. Lopez the legend.
G: Lopez was the girl in your lesbian dream. You told me fifty times.
V: I know I like that story.
G: What is your favorite thing to listen to in the shower?
V: Madonna or Leann Rimes or David Bowie or Leadbelly or shtuff.
G: Is Keeth tossing in his sleep in your bed right now?
V: Yes.
G: Are you an ex-sex addict?
V: Recovering, still shaky.
G: How many pubes do you have?
V: One. I am a single pubed organism.
G: Did you peel the foreskin back the first time you gave head to an uncircumcised wiener?
V: No, I was not previously informed I had to.
G: Do you think uncircumcised wieners look like snails?
V: Yes.
G: Are you currently unemployed?
V: Yes, and no I don't want to talk about it.
G: Do you know any jokes?
V: But of course.
G: Tell me one.
V: Did you hear someone threatened the minor league?
G: No.
V: haha.
G: Where's the punchline?
V: That's the whole joke. Quick and easy.
G: That's stupid.
V: It's my Minor Threat joke.
G: That has nothing to do with Minor Threat other than putting those two words in a sentence.
V: I know. I'm brilliant, shhhhh!
G: You're stupid and I hate you.
V: Join the club. Hate me too.

It's really weird that the New Yorker keeps doing articles like this,
G. Sus

2009-06-29T22:41:00.001-07:00

I wish I didn't scare myself so often.

Mr. F or Mr. Frodo?

2009-06-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

Interview with a Vampire
By: Gollum

G:Are you lonely for a man?
V: Sometimes, but then I consider the following. Friends cover companionship, cats are irritating, work is frustrating, and random people provide carnal pleasure, I don't feel so bad anymore.
G: So you're saying that you don't need a man to satisfy you because you substitute all the elements of a relationship with different subjects?
V: Somewhat. I'm not saying that I don't know the pleasures of one subject just that after crippling times of relationship disasters I find it is easier to spread wide to all instead of one.
G: Do you think that it has something to do with your human state?
V: Pardon?
G: I mean, we're both human or once were. Now that you're a creature do you feel as if some of your earthly delights have faded just as your form and mental state of the average homosapien? I morphed from love of a powerful thing and you transformed into a functioning body of thirst.
V: I guess I feel that since obsession brought me to my current state I have to live with it. Once you've fallen it's unlikely that you'll ever get up. I'm doused in blood as you are buried in treasures. I'm held down and you are patted and pressed. I'm hopeless now.
G: That's an obscure way of looking at things. I guess when I asked you if you thought you needed a man to satisfy you I should have questioned your preference first.
V: That's alright. I've always assumed you all were bi or homosexual. So no hard feelings.
G: Many do.
V: I do get lonely though.
G:But you said...
V: I know what I said. But now I'm being honest. All that has been said was a cover. I'm lonely. I'm lonely as all hell. I'm not even speaking from my vampirical point of view anymore. I am alone.
G: Diving back into my Hobbit state, so am I.
V: Theory means nothing when you're lonely. You only make up reasons for why you're alone as well as temporary comforts for how you sustain yourself. That's my philosophy!
G: It's ok. I don't think you're insane.
V: I know. I wish I didn't have to question myself everyday.
G: Me too.
V: I wish we were accepted.
G: Me too.

[All material taken from: The New Yorker]

Does toothpaste make your breath smell worse or better,
Ginger?

2009-06-22T21:10:00.001-07:00

I have vomit stuck in my throat.

The Cruel Curl of Dorian Gray's Mouth

2009-06-21T12:14:00.000-07:00

My head feels heavy with the hurt of false representation.
I feel in constant defense of myself. Even my friends give me titles that mis-portray me. If you're my friend you should know me better than to treat me with the same judgment I have to undergo by strangers and acquaintances. I just want to live freely as myself and the people who choose to live life with me to enjoy it. I don't need my friends to give me some kind of handicap. I know I say some pretty weird things but you know me better than to pat me on the shoulder and say something condescending like I'm a mentally challenged child. I'm a fucking woman with an educated mind. I'm not just jokes. Jesus Christ, why doesn't anyone understand that!

I guzzle down lightning in great gulps
I will burst with laughter
Lightning in my heart.

There is no where to get a job. I just want to be a secretary
I know I'm not turning into a dreamland kid but it's funny to say,
G.

This is a photo I found online of people from this church my parents made me go to when I was in elementary school It was Sawgrass Community Church and it pulled the spirit of self out and stomped on it rather than eased the spirit of God into the soul. Thou taketh the spirit of thyself. In the top left corner you will find the pastor and his wife. Then trickle down, some people blah blah blah, guy in the pink shirts a dick, my sister in the red and white baseball shirt with braces, lady below her in the dress tried to make Jen change her daughter's "poopy diaper", my old piano teacher in the middle with the glasses is gay now along with a few others that came out in later years, my mom next to him (the lady with the buzz cut), down on bended knee in the front is Cara who I lied in my diary from 3rd grade and called her my sister, and then Mrs. Breitcruz.
Church is weird.
It slashed my spirit and crumbled my confidence for a while. I had to come to the realization that these people weren't important and that they were the ones in trouble. That's why it hurts when friends do things like that. Because they are important unlike your childhood youth pastor who made you the center of leader meetings.

I went to the library today.

2009-06-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

When hurt evolves into a greater,intoxicated-off-one-beer theory

2009-06-08T15:54:00.000-07:00

I think I have hurt feelings. But I am unsure.
It reminds me of the time when I played soccer for the AYSO. I was a nightmare on the field. I couldn't pass, couldn't score, had a weak kick, and was a fumbling goalie. In the middle of games, I couldn't find focus on the ball. I would become involved with the spectators rather than the game. It was as if my mom talking on the phone mattered more to me than if Rhea Butchey had just passed me the ball. She found a band-aid in her Domino's pizza once. It was one of those after practice pizza parties. Sweaty girls with shin guard and cleat marks on their legs and feet as well as ponytails and sports bras keeping them in place up top.
Possibly, it was my mental distraction that disabled my physical attentiveness or I was just never intended to be an athlete. Either way I got a lot of flack from my teammates. Which brings me to the resemblance of having my feelings hurt and being made fun of by my peers. It was more of an embarrassment, a self-esteem bang and then a slowly healing bruise.
I remember being made fun of in the locker room when I tried out for the middle school team. I couldn't fill out my brassier as well as the others and my bust caused me sad alienation. It was something I couldn't help. When you're a young lady with breast buds (as the Doctor diagnosed me with when I went in there with complaints of tender nipples) it's not your fault that you have to wear an oversize bra because they don't make training bras in a size smaller than, what is it, 30AA. We all wanted breasts when we were younger. They were like these two magical globes suspended by the curvature of a fully developed Eve. They were hypnotizing and if you could just get your hands on a pair it was as if all the satisfaction of the world would fall into your lap at that very moment.
This obsession with breasts haunted me until I reached the sixth grade, where I was ridiculed and humiliated for my poorly fitting undergarment. I've stuffed with toilet paper before going to the movies with my brother and Dad, I've stuffed with play-dough on my bike ride to publix only to check on them look up and I find out the hard way that the side walk weaved through the trees when I ran directly into the stone wall of the complex lining one side of the walkway, I've stuffed my bathing suit with sand only to find that once I submersed myself in the water it came dripping down my torso. I wanted boobs so badly that I went to great lengths to create the illusion. I think every girl did and if she didn't then she wanted to. Boobs were this unknown world of mammary splendor.
But, if you were a tweenaged girl you either had the sole growth of nipples or too much breast for your age, which meant you were most likely suspected of stuffing. So either way, you were in the radar. Just as we all are in the radar of being mocked for anything we do. We are constantly being criticized for our every action. For the way we move, for the things we think, and for the emotions we feel. There is no norm because everything is mocked. To live is to be laughed at. In its inescapable presence , negative social commentary remains one of the greatest forms of offense, hurt, and unity. We all do it and it is what binds us. We float along the spectrum of mockery just like all of life's other aspects for which we crawl, waddle, walk, and run along the line. The norm varies and the norm is subjective. We make it up ourselves just as we makeup everything else. Life is a lie and life is a story and we are the weavers.
Girls will forever make fun each other throughout puberty. Punks, hipsters, thugs alike will all be mocked for their interests and lifestyles and knowledge. Race will continue to serve as a comfort to establishing superiority. Style will uphold hierarchical standards. Art will continue in weeding out the idiots from the intellectuals. We all will continue to function in a society of insecurity.

A Very Real,
Ginger Foutley

Joleen AKA Stiffler's Mom

2009-06-05T14:02:00.000-07:00

Kaysie got a kitten and I like it. Her name is Joleen. It's too young to hump but fills up a plastic Publix bag with a day's worth of litter covered and solidifying excrement. Plus, she just chip farted.

Also, I just noticed Griffin has left me with another load of deleted pictures for me to discover later.

This time, stills of him dancing.

Keep it zen,
Ginger

R.I.P.
The masterpiece you'll never have.

Raised On Archies, Left With Regret

2009-06-04T22:29:00.000-07:00

Archie broke Betty's heart for the last time. Guess it just goes to show never trust a ginger. He'll break your heart and use as the celery in the spicy Bloody Mary of his life. He is cold. Floating atop the crimson sea accompanied by Veronica on a float raft with a refreshing margarita. While Betty wades submersed in anguish to observe for eternity her indefinite heartbreak. Rule out all colors from the red spectrum to the orange. It is danger. It is hell's fiery flames. The furnace of evil lies within and its evidence reveals itself in poor Betty. Our hearts go out to you in your time of sadness.

The Saddest Girl in the World!

I am so sad, I don't even know what to say.
Xoxoxoxo
Bets

Signing off,
A Most Distraught Ginger

Pimpest Room In Da Howse

2009-05-19T13:17:00.000-07:00

My brother has so far in his life made two CRIBS videos
1)
2)

Pull Ya G-String Down South

2009-05-16T10:21:00.000-07:00

This is seriously retarded.
My little brother just whispered my name and was dancing Napoleon style for me. Earlier my Nana told me that she could just wear spandex because we weren't doing anything special today, and it's my older brother's wedding day. Then my aunt walked in with curlers and my Nana says to her "i know you" and she goes "who am i , mom?" and she goes "Karen?". Karen is my mom's name.
My mom has to dance with my brother for a song so we all can watch. Because we all want to watch my mom and Jeff Jr. dancing for five minutes while my mom just wiggles her butt and he tries to follow it. She came to the last resort of my little brother, Zack's, suggestion of Chromeo's "Momma's Boy". That's really weird.
Last night was the rehearsal dinner. My dad was waltzing around with a Romeo and Julieta cigar and endless bottles of champagne, filling every one's cups to the brim. Including my cousin Morgan who gave my senile Nana a bunch of gibberish on the car ride home and then had to be walked to her room by my Aunt. My dad lit his cigar inside the dinner room and when I asked him if it was okay he looked at me like i was so naive and said of course. Everyone became so drunk that we were all falling over each other until someone had the bright idea to go to Hooters.
It was all my cousins, aunts and an uncle wasted at Hooters for about three hours and I swear they had to of been closed for the last hour. My Uncle Don became friends with the guys that hit on me when I walked in and i flicked them off. Yeah, they were drinkin' buddies and i couldn't keep my finger down the rest of the night. Idle finger ready for blood.
I think we walked back to the hotel. Someone found an 18 pack in mom's room and she doesn't even drink. We got really excited about it and went into my dad's room (which is across the hall. Weird as farts) and poured them out onto my cousin who couldn't stop giggling on one of the beds. We then tried to load them into one of those ice coolers they have for the room. We shoved about five in there and then my cousin forgot which room was hers so we found ourselves sitting on the ground in front of someone else's room trying to get the top of the damn ice cooler. Then my uncle, her dad, found us and escorted us to the room.

Also, great news! the youth pastor from my middle school past is the pastor for the wedding. He's the pastor that kicked me off a youth retreat for touching one of the leader's balls (who is gay now). A lot of people from that church are gay now. Everyone was hiding. Last night he told my mom he was going to kick me out of the wedding and I screamed at him that I was young and perverted and ran in the bathroom to wipe my butt because i cut it with toilet paper.

My brother's friend just came in here with his hired date. Her name is Brooke and the first thing my dad said to her when he met her was "Brooke, I have to ask you a question. Is your last name Hogan". She has a masculine build and is scary and snobby.

This room smells like farts and hair spray.

This morning has been a real doozy. I don't understand how this is a real family. We are all so individually unusual.
My brother just choked out a burp and my Nana almost fell over and goes "wooooo" . My mom is hair spraying my eyeballs!!!!!! Oh my god, my mom was hogging the hairspray and Jen yells to her"stop spraying yer buzz cut!" My mom is wearing a lacy thong.

So hungover. This is crazy.
Signing off,
Naked Ginger

2009-05-12T23:01:00.000-07:00

Fuck it when people call you weird. They are just scared of themselves.
I thought I wanted to write about something, then realized I don't.
All the same, fuck when other people's insecurities get you down. Some people are sheltered and others just think they're normal. Too bad you can't just hammer it into someones head at your moment of judgment. I know a few people I'd like to hammer large screws through their ears.

Sorry I've Been Gone,
G

I'm going to make brown

2009-05-05T10:49:00.001-07:00

I'm with stupid.
Me.
In the fresh. Good morning America, it's me in the fresh.
I don't know if it's my breath or kaysie's bacon that smells like bacon.
One time, I came across something foul and realized I thought it was Kaysie's breath but it was just a fart.
Dude, it's mom.
Dude, I am with stupid.

P.A.N.F.A.C.E.

2009-04-20T21:53:00.000-07:00

People Alienated by Nether-region Absence Can be Equals

Dear Ladies in Heat,
Wow. My bikini zone really itches. But, it doesn't make sense because I don't have a bikini line, so it's not prickly heat or in-growns. What's going on down fromunda?
Razor burn comes from shaving or this guy:

So, what's happening to me?
Why do girls think thongs look okay from the front? Yes, we've all established how delicious they are from the rear. But when you face one head-on, it just looks like you have a penis.
Thong penises: the sister of thong butts, the brother of ball stuff in a Speedo, the mother of too long of pubic growth, and the Father Abraham to his many Sonny's BBQ ribs on a bun (like the cafeteria special).

"Here, Fred. And it will be 3 rocks for the Lady's salad."
"Thanks, Toots. Me wife can't take the red meat like I can. Cause I'm strong and shtuff and I like to do man things and eat man salads. By the way, don't tell the old lady, but that thong looks hot from the back...a little weird from the front. I'd get that checked out if I were you. The only question is OBGYN or urologist?"

Back on subject,
"Yeah, I like to wear the paper one the gyno gave me, regularly. I mean it absorbs the jelly better than cotton and it's so cute. I also like it when it gets wet and see-through at the beach. It's cool when people can see your pubes and stuff!"
One Size Fits All.
It's stretchy, just like me!

let's not mention what a thong penis looks like from the back. That would leave us hanging by the balls for days.
Why have people, for so long, accepted the thong as something sexy? It's scary. And plus, it causes confusion. Like, how do strippers never get camel toes in their thongs? Or do they and in the movies they just paint the actresses lips the same color or pattern as the thong and put a kind of finger-brace contraption to avoid wrinkling in the middle?

My mom stole my sister's thong one time. It was white with red stars. First of all, sorry Jen, but what purpose does a white thong offer other than the evidence of pee and poo stains? Whatever, don't know the answer to that question, my Mom put the leg around her waist and put her leg through the waist. I don't know who wears that thong still but I think it continues to circulate around my Mom's house.

My drug-phase friends, the lesbians, wore a lot of thongs. I remember they liked to pull them up over their hip bones and then we'd all go to the goth corner of the mall. Maybe thongs were like a universal symbol of a certain alliance or society. That was the purpose for their invention, then they were exploited.
You could snap someone's and let them know "Hey, I'm in on it. I've got the 411. And you are not going out and getting jiggy, I don't care how dope his ride is. Momma didn't raise no fool...thanks, Bill!".
It would be like scraping your foot in the sand, tracing an Ichthys to let the disciples, Jesus and random un-threatening others know"Hey Bro, I'm part of the underground. God has given the world his only begotten son. You down for what's 'bout to happen?"

These are only suggestions to what the thong represents, other than the objectification of the female as a piece of ass or penis hiders from the back or woven string cheese. There are smarter, more realistic ones. More troubling ones. There isn't enough time to explain why the thong is illogical and demeaning. I guess we just have to settle on the truth, right?
"Panty lines are ugly and guys won't like you if you have one. Sorry."

Me and Meano played Pixies today for some time. I played first, the star, guitar, and Nina was, well second, the, like, whatever, guitar. Pam was supposed to play bass but she ran out of the room. When I went to tell that we wanted to have a band meeting because we didn't think she cared about the band anymore and that we knew she thought her skills were superior to ours, she shooed me away with the wave of her hand.
This was my kool, kunty friend Nina's attempt:

kuntakulo (4:00:12 AM): did you learn the bass part yet
pamgrandslam (4:04:06 AM): ihateuy
kuntakulo (4:10:49 AM): die
pamgrandslam (4:12:26 AM): UR BAND SUCKS

I just spent a long time looking at my really gay ex-boyfriend,
Nostal-Ging...er

P.S.
Where is this girl's penis and where is it hiding?

I guess she must have lost it somewhere when she was using all that scary stuff on her thingy.

P.S.
Sometimes I write these, reread them, and cannot comprehend myself.

Crossover Lovers

2009-04-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

I think I need to start running background checks on boys before I proceed to engage in acts with them. See if they test "Positive" for J.I.M.
Gainseville, Florida, America can sometimes seem like a big, big place but it is the incest that keeps us together. Keeps us connected. Let's us know who's getting married, who started going to school where, and how your Uncle Pete's operation went. If it wasn't for American incest we'd find ourselves at a distance. Incest brings unity. But, for your own sense of inner piece, avoid familial incest. It's disgusting.

Instances of Familial Incest:
a) Twins
"Hi, we're twins and we really want to fuck you. At the same time. Yeah, I'll tongue my sister if you think it's hot. Would you like it if I fingered my twin's butt hole and then licked my finger and shoved it up my nose and through my eye? And then with it still in my eye, I'll shove it up my twin's vagina?"
The Ikki Twins (Featured on MTV)

b) The Bond Between a Father and a Daughter
A much sadder instance. In this case, not self-inflicted. Well, other than some Hollywood flicks who find prosperity in exploiting Daddy's yearning. Lifetime can sometimes keep it real, as long as they don't cast a has been from the once station "ABC Family" or Carol from "Growing Pains". Making movies out of this subject makes it seem more pretend. That's why we can address it so easily, because it's easy to tackle issues we no longer view or feel realistically.

Let's be honest with each other, it's probably happened. Hollywood incest. Just because they're famous doesn't mean they're exempt.

c) The Slut Sisters
When two sisters get a bad reputation for being young and experimental. Sometimes, when two sisters have a few conquests under their belts, their paths can cross. Spectators may find this humorous yet the sisters experience more of a depression and disgust. Usually, the subject being shared will lose most of its attraction.

I will not disclose these identities.

I don't know if girls or guys are more vulgar,
Ggggggggggggggggggggringer

Why are inlaws family but outlaws are cowfolk?

2009-04-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

The past two days have been odd and enjoyable. I really like my friends I have here.
Well, except when every single one of them cock blocks me in the same morning, individually. Thanks fellas. Good fellas.
Men come and go. Some you despise and others you recognize. Some you would love to punch others you would like to, well, punch. Some are hot and some aren't. These are just realities and I've come to know through my studies. My friend K. told me "Dumbass=Good Sex". She's the smartest woman I know.

This is a man from my past.
Name: Hot Chinese
Birthdate: He told me he was 19 years old
Country: Peru
Hobbies: Fighting, Drugs, Drinking, Skate Brand Sweatshirts
Notable Quotes: "What's a light?" & "I was born on an airplane"

He was my first boyfriend when I was fourteen years old and in my drug phase, which means weed and a whole lot of xanax bars. Things happened.

Half the boys you meet in your life will remain in your memory as jokes.
Sometimes you have to sift through the trash to find the treasure. Just make sure your treasure ain't too far away.
I proved myself wrong in a lot of ways over the past few days. Now I'm just confused and all I want to do is sit in my room all day and listen to Big Black while eating oreos, picking my foot and playing with the toys I have. All other responsibilities seem pointless.I am responsible for playing.

There are things that matter more in the world,
Ginger Genitalia

When God Curses Two People Who Just Want To Be Together

2009-04-05T16:06:00.000-07:00

One day you won't be gay, celibate, and I might not be ugly anymore.
But as for now and the world as it turns on its ugly side and casts a shadow on our potential as lovers, we must rest in delay. Hold on lover our day will come sooner than we can count the stars in the sky, the ants in the ant farm, and the freckles on my older brother's body. Just wait in patience, my darling. It will be worth all the while.

Oh, happy dagger!

The Contortionist

2009-04-02T01:02:00.000-07:00

If I was to be a part of the traveling circus

[No not that kind]

I don't know what my act would be. It requires thinking about your worst, most socially abnormal quality and using it in a constructive way. Even though my life and sense of self may be curling and plummeting down into the depths of hell, I can use my friends for this activity:

The Contortionist (also doubles as The Bearded Lady)

I don't know why girls pick on each other like they do. Yes, I do.
It's just remarkably unimportant and will mean nothing in a few years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, or seconds. I can't remember why I stopped talking to my friend Sarah White in sixth grade or why I fought with my lesbian friends all the time. It doesn't matter anymore. It meant so much to me to battle and I can feel the demonic, caddy possession every girl either embraces or fights, still inside me at times.
Competition is a young girls gun and her insecurities are her ammo.
We like to shoot each other in the face. With bazookas.

Sometimes, I think I might sound like a Christian follower,
Ginger of God's Army

My Stomach Hurts

2009-03-31T23:00:00.002-07:00

I wish I wasn't upset with my friends right now for fooling me.
I feel like I'm always stuck in this situation where everyone plays with each other and I have do try to concentrate in my room doing things I don't necessarily enjoy. It's hard to separate two lives when the people you're surrounded by always seem to be, at that moment, living the one you're not.
Plus, I think I have worms.

Birdie, do you have any lip chap?

2009-03-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

I hate reading these books every week. I hate thinking about reading this books every week. I hate sitting in a classroom for three hours a week and listening to some asshole tell us how we're wrong. Fuck philosophy and seriously fuck animal philosophy.
I feel so tired and I have to read about how Derrida is afraid to be naked in front of a cat. Is it bad that I despise these authors so much that I mock everything they say even though they are educated and to someone not so bitter make sense and mean something?
i have a stomach ache and it's rumbling.i don't want to eat because everything just feels like I'm swallowing more throw up or feeding my upchuck reflexes.
I threw up in my hand yesterday and went diarrhea in a trash can. I don't know how i used to function with daily living in Orlando because now when I come back home from there I need to detox.
Also, I hate Pam's ex-boyfriend's cat with a passion. I want to strangle it and shove its crap and vomit that was all over the house down its throat. The cat doesn't have a sex. It is just this thing.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't have a sex.
God.

Fuck school. It's not fun and it just makes you hate everything, everyone and yourself.

Dr. Ginger Whalen

Fart on my Dick

2009-03-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

I pooped on a toilet seat, sat in it, and felt bad in the morning that I didn't clean it up.
I don't know why people insist on taking pictures of themselves on my computer...and then deleting them. Like I'm not going to sift through the trash.

KERKER and GG

Yeah.

Griffin when he pees himself.

Griffin when something tastes bad.

Griffin when something tastes good.

Feelin' Gross,
G-Oogle

An "I Didn't Eat That" Analysis

2009-03-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

Discharge is one of the weirdest things in the world. I know it's a cleanse, but women have created so many variations-and labels-that sometimes it is just hilarious. Usually, these are not fun topics to discuss because we are usually scared we're either pregnant or have an STI. Yet, other times we're just freaking out with the paranoia of what the hell's going on in our underwear. Stressing about the color and odor of the Polluck painting in our panties, each one's an original!
There are so many sick and graphic names to describe them, ones that the more sensitive souls have difficulty discussing.
Some of them are really sick and usually end in "y".
I went on a FAQ forum and found some examples of girls questioning all the crap coming out of their front butts. That was sick of me to say.

One was called "Discharge after sexual things"
Advice by this lady wants you to suck on a condom.

Q:"I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 months now, and ever since he started doing sexual things to me (fingering & eating me out), i have had a strong smelling discharge that is pretty thick and white...does this have anything to do with him doing things to me?"

A:"'What your boyfriend is "doing to you" is probably not related to the discharge. If however, you are giving him oral sex, and are swallowing his semen, you should be checked for sexually transmitted infections.
You are very young to be sexually active - and if your boyfriend is older, he may have been with other girls, so using a condom for any oral sex to avoid all exchange of semen is a very good idea. "

"Douching for Discharge"

Q:"I am sexually active and always have a lot of discharge. It is clear or white. I am not worried about STDs but more on feeling clean and not messy for me and my partner. I have been wearing liners and I hate it!"

A"You are right, douching is not the answer, and might make it worse. It would be better to talk to your doctor about it, during your next exam. Good luck! "

(Same Lady, Good Luck!)

"Weird Gooey Brown Stuff"

A:"I am 11 years old and I do not have my period. But I got this weird gooey brown stuff in my underwear. Is that normal? And I do not have any health problems or anything."

B:"Well I suggest you mark the days that you get the weird gooey brown stuff in your underwear on a calendar and then see if there is a pattern...Good luck and no worries!"

It's so sad to see girls haunted by this. Having some frizzy bitch tell you good luck is like getting cracked in the groin.

I was making a list last week of all God's punishments (because Nina informed me that I still believe in God). This is one of them. Everything bad that happens in your life is because God hates you.

Ways God shows me that he hates me:
1. My pants are too tight and hurting me
2. My parents are getting divorced
3. Love is stupid and fucked up and I feel it
4. My dandruff spot
5. Discharge

Discharge has turned into a psychological complex rather than a female biological process.Did the band know they were a addressing a such serious subject when they named themselves?

Fat Bastard's Bastard Son,
Greg Foutley

"Laugh at some shit that's funny!" -Judy Garland

2009-03-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

That last post is scary and appalling.
The drive to the airport felt like a race car game at the arcade.
I parked my car there and when I looked in my day planner today it said I was parked in:
"408 lion thing level one"

Um. Oh no.
And yes, I was in the wrong terminal.
I had to take the shuttle back to gate 48 because gate 28 was actually my seat number "Seat 28A, Gate 48"
Orlando has the worst effect on me. Belligerence.

I can't believe I made it here so I can now listen to Beardog licking himself to death and pet Samsam.

Samuel is the brownie and Beardog is the black thing.

You can forgive Chris Brown, I believe that. I am a christian woman.

2009-03-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

This is how not fun being drunk at the airport by yourself at 5:30 am is. i feel like an alien. It was always so easy to fly away with y family while still intoxicated, why is it so scary right now? I want mommy, I want Zacky, I want jen here to be drunker than me!!!!!!!!!! Good thing i have chips and fat people to stare at.

Who the fart is green sweatshirt staring at me for! You ahve a wife. stare at her not the chip girl. not suck gurl!

maybe im in thw wrong terminal! i hope not that wouldn make me a huge idiot! I have a milli chip crumbs all ove me.

CWAP! i just hiccuped so huge!

Maybe I feel so xcary becayse you just told me too many things when you were dwunker tha i was (am).

<3,
Gingy

P.S.
this post took a alot of spell check.

Oh no, some girl just laughed at me when i hicced. why is evryone staring at the T.B. why did mickey crap on donald's ass and then donald threw up in goofy's mouth on eveyone here? Why does everyone have bangs in this airport? Why is there a pube on my keyboard? Why is there an alarm going off?
Fuck! i just snapped out of make believe alnd and remembered im scared of airplanes.

and i just ran out of chips!!!!!!!!

and i now i have chip cramps!

OH MY GOD I THINK IM HAVING A PANIC ATTACK !

How Did Allen Ginsberg Smoke So Much Tea?

2009-03-01T22:09:00.001-08:00

I'm high and it's scaring me. I think I have restless leg. I also think the cat crapped in my nostrils when I was sleeping because that's all I can smell. I didn't study for my two exams tomorrow. I don't know what I am thinking. School is too overwhelming. It's breaking me.
All I want to eat are advil, tums and a guitar.
List of recent songs added to my party pieces for guitar:
For Tammy Rae-Bikini Kill
Ill Come Running-Neil Diamond/Murder City Devils
Don't Talk To Me-G.G. Allin
Young, Crazed, Peeling-Distillers
The Wind-Cat Stevens
Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now-Smiths
I put that list because I know everyone is really interested in what I'm been playing. Like take Birdie for instance, she loved to sit with me while I played and now we don't live together anymore and she's lost without it.

This is me playing guitar

In the corner is Gumby but yellow.

Sincerely,
Ginger Spice

Discouragements on the House!

2009-02-27T00:10:00.000-08:00

I just spent so long trying to make it fucking work and it just doesn't. I was going to make a present and it spit up in my face. Now I'm too discouraged to think of a solution. I wanted to fill it with everything I've been recording for months now.

Jen's bike just got stolen in Ft. Lauderdale and that really sucks. It was a nice bike and she really liked it.

I always forget this kid exists. He looks like he's Asain but he's just a fraud. He's actually a nice boy and he has a friend named "Long-Haired". I just found this thrilling photo of him and Jordan from NFG. I rode on an airplane once with NFG. Jen swears Chad grabbed her hand when she went to the bathroom and held it for a while. We came pretty close to being acquainted with some top celebs that time but this kid has real connections. The kind you hear about in Reservoir Dogs, stealing the answers to the Chem final, and getting your friend a job at Urban Outfitters because you work there.

Sound Studio (In Deerfield, Florida) was founded by NFG's mom and dad,
G.

I Feel Like My Head Is Constipated

2009-02-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

I feel stuffed like a turkey on Thanksgiving and no one will eat me because I'm not vegan.

I am filled with stress, emotions, headaches, tears, cramps, worthlessness and varying forms of heaviness. I feel split in between my parents and like I have to take their separate opinions and combine them to form some kind of rationality in myself to deal with everything. Mom, it kind of feels like you don't want your kids anymore.

I'm just so tired and all I want to do is sleep.

All I want to do is listen to the mixtape you made me but I don't have batteries or a plug-in cassette player. I want to read some letters but that is a terrible idea.

The cat got mad at me for beefing really loud last week.

Half-heartedly,
Ginger

Why isn't it cool to like The Distillers?

2009-02-16T20:16:00.001-08:00

I mean, yeah their mainstream and yeah they've made themselves pretty much a big joke, but still...why is it cool to appreciate bands like Against All Authority, Screeching Weasel, Rancid, Operation Ivy, or even Reel Big Fish, and not Brody and her mates? When are they going to have Distillers cover night at Sick of it Suckdays? I feel like people need the assurance that other people are acknowledging a band as "cool because you listened to it high school". If others like the band again based on its nostalgia, you better think that band rules!

Come on, what did she ever do to you but annoy you and look like an even more fucked up version of Courtney Love?
Tim even liked her...

Maybe I'm bias because I have almost this exact dress in size loose and very short...

Long Live Plato's Closet!

This is their hit for me.

"That's the shit!",
G-Spot Foutley

Chief Bearclaw and Squating Dog

2009-02-15T22:59:00.000-08:00

Seriously, INC is not what it used to be. I've been going since they even started having INC, so i've seen a good enough amount to criticize the recession, ok!
I'm so tired I think I'm going to die. Everything just feels like it's going to crumble into pieces and leave me as a pile of soot and ashes that can either be sorted into a needs-to-be-purchased flower printed urn or the kitty litter box, because half spilled (spilt) out onto the bathroom floor and it looks like it needs a refill. I'm bored with my life right now...at this exact moment...so let's look at a compilation of some of my favorite L word groups shots:

Another instance where Kit looks absolutely stunning

Stupidly Yours,
Gay-mode Ginger

I Do To Like Aminals!!!!!

2009-02-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

A cat is staying here right now. It's name is it doesn't have one but it sure makes up for it by humping everything. This is a bigger sex addict than some girl who used to live in room with two doors at 1404 Clay Street in Orlando. Everyone keeps saying I'm not tender with animals. I think they are crazy. Of course i'm sweet with maminals!
[I really do like the cat. Please don't call P.C.P.P. (Peta Celebrity Popularity Patrol) on me.]

I still think Archies ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuule!

I feel stressed and jaded.
This was a busy week and INC is this weekend making it even more destructive and weird and tiring. This is excitement? maybe.

Age has been here a few days. Obviously. (I will probably be dead when he sees this.)

He made a milkshake and left me more than half of it which I set teetering on my nightstand and just knocked over with my foot causing it to suicide dive to the floor. There is stickiness everywhere and Killy is going to be up for hours now on a sugar high. Great.The hassles of being a young mom.

Today I've asked myself many questions:
Should I get out of bed now?
What is my social makeup and am I "white"?
What do you do if you're a sorority girl with an ugly smile?
[A (in a Q): I have no idea. Posing for party pics must be hard but I guess you can always just stick your tongue out and make a goofy face, right?]
What did I eat to fart so many times?
Do I have to go poop again?
If there are so many boys in the world, where are they?
Where is the high school in Gainesville and what time do they get released?

I had a heartbreaking slap in the face today. He moved onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

Oh well. Like the ergs said "I guess when I get home and Golden Grahams is with his new younger girlfriend I'll be an old hag and I'll be alone again".

Lonely Boy's friend,
Ginger...zrweird...Foutley

I'm Going To Fuck You For Valentine's Day!

2009-02-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

Dear readers,
I am sorry I've been so neglectful. I know you are all on the edge of your seats waiting for my next entry, or at least some of you are are on edge from all the drugs (weed, coke, heroin, tranquilizers, xanax bars, etc... you know who you are).
I have had way to much coffee today and I really need a vicodin right now. A spoonful.
I'm at book lickers right, just finished my first paper of the semester.
Check it:

Anyways, there is some whack-ass seminar going on right now in the "art room" and I think they just said farting, shit or pussy. I can't hear, the doors closed and muffling the voices. Damn.
SHIT! I just realized Gainseville's biggest crust punk fem added me back on facebook. I have to go check it out with Nina as a feel better offering. That means I have to leave Book Lickers (BL's T) which unfortunately means i'll also have to tend to my people, you viewers, a little later.

I farted earlier and it felt like crap but I knew it was a fart,
Ginger and her Groin

This Girl in Middle School Made Fun of me Because my Bra didn't Fit Properly

2009-02-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

I want a piano so bad I feel like I have a junkie's craving. Cody is asleep on the couch right now and I think I'm going to leave him a love note that says "Cody Bologna Sammmich". Nina has to drive me to school today because it's raining and i don't have a poncho yet. I'm looking for the yellow ones with the Mickey on it. Everyone wears mickey now because it's so cool and ironic. yeahhhhhhh. I have to poo and I can't tell if I have sleepy eyes or sleep in my eyes (eye boogers). I really think I broke three of my fingers with the window. They really hurt and I'm only using my pointers to type right now.

As Usual,
Buisness as Ginger

Poorlando!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-31T18:16:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I just shut my three middle fingers in the window while trying to move the picture out of the way and then they got stuck in between and i had to rip them out as hard as i could and i could've screamed for andy and tommy and dan to help me but i didn't think about it and then i had to ice them with peas and they are tingling and hurt really bad and i just had eaten a top ramen...SO WHAT!

My Fumbs Broke

2009-01-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

It's raining cats and dogs and slim jims outside!
Pam's taking me to school.
Where some girl said to me "that sucks balls" yesterday.

Cheese Milkshakes and Poop Smoothies

2009-01-27T17:22:00.001-08:00

I have so much I want to say but I have so much hangover sagging down my brain and my body that expressing these things is pretty close to impossible.
Owey.

Carharts and Farts and Lards and Enemas and Robbie's Dong and Big, Fat Legs

2009-01-21T15:36:00.001-08:00

This is what I'm doing right now...

Carl just hit himself in the weiner with a hammer!

...and pretended like it didn't hurt.

My Booty Hoits

2009-01-21T11:45:00.000-08:00

Last Night I had the most terrifying dream. I was sleeping in my bed but my eyes were half open and when I tried to move my body I couldn't. I was in this vegetative state between sleep and being awake. I kept calling out to Robbie trying to get him to push me over or shake me and wake me up, but he couldn't get me to move. I was hysterical and crying and it made my eyes fog over. It reminded me of this movie I saw once called "The Diving Bell" where this man had a stroke which caused him to become paralyzed from, I think, the neck down while also ceasing the movement of one of his eyes and his speech. He had to interact through blinking once for yes or twice for no.
Maybe that was the reason I had this dream, although I saw the movie almost a year ago.
When I got up today I felt really heavy in my body but I didn't remember having this dream until just now.
Also, when I woke up today I had a butt rash. I think it might be from the chaffing of layered pants in the cold along with my inability to wipe properly. It is an oval shape right where my buttcheeks come together. I guess you could say that on the still visible yet centralized part of my butt there is the outline of an inflamed vagina. It kills and when I pee it touches it and stings.I put Aquaphor on it butttttttttttt it still itches.
I googled butt rash and maybe this?

Does this dream and my butt rash at all correlate? You tell me.

Godspeed You Black Person!

2009-01-19T15:35:00.001-08:00

Orlando kind of sucks now.
I barely hung out with my friends and there was a constant vibe of hostility and tension. The house I lived in before feels like the wreck it's turned into physically represents the deterioration of the human relationships filling it. When did this tension arise and why? It's a sad thing.
I don't think I'll be coming back to visit anytime soon. A lot of things happened this weekend to push me away from Orlando. Having my privacy intruded upon, not being able to trust people, getting really freaked out, feeling like people are mad at you, walking on eggshells. These aren't good emotions.
I am way too hungove right now. I feel like I'm going to die. My eyes hurt, my throat kills, and my period is making my farts sting.
I need someone to read to me because my eyelids are heavy but I still have some kind of wilted sensory perception. Help!

WAHHHH,
Ginger G. Allin -Foutley

I Just Want To Life My Life

2009-01-15T15:08:00.000-08:00

This morning was hectic. I got a call from this guy that let us move into the house illegally saying that the landlord was on her way over. I was like "hhhhhouuuuuhhh!??!"

I ran into Nini's room and moments later the door was knocked. Ah! Surprisingly she didn't behead us. Pam did have to flee though, in he rlong john's, for a breezy 40 degree walk around the block.
Nini's parents were then members of The Dicks at the realty office. They wouldn't sign required papers for her and when they finally did they had constructed their own letter. Wonderful. I was looking for blood and ready to murder!

Finally, the storm settled and now our residence here is ok. Then, I had a great epiphany!

You just gotttttttt to life your lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Also, I have chin zits now.

Forever in you chin and in your pants,
Ginger G. Gingery

I Feel Like a Weirdo

2009-01-13T20:19:00.001-08:00

I feel really weird.
About the things I do, the things I say, my life right now.

I want to:
1. lay down and watch T.V. with everyone
2. not read about how women are discriminated against for five minutes
3. take a hot shower
4. clear my head
5. get clear braces

Nina and Pam are convinced that these space heaters they bought are fantastic. I think they are bullshit.

My room smells like balls right now. Like someone poo farted on a pair of balls.
I don't know what to do. I could change my sheets but it would still be in the air.
I guess what I'm saying is...

If you go through your life obsessing over things like, space heaters, balls, and your feelings, are you ever going to progress physically and emotionally or is digression just one angry fact of life?

Sincerely,
Ginger Foutley aka Carrie Bradshaw

The Same Emotional Aftermath of my Rash Id

2009-01-13T16:47:00.000-08:00

I SERIOUSLY need to get over that.
and that
and that
and that
and that and that

an den.

Baby Tooth and the Enamels

2009-01-04T00:32:00.000-08:00

Kaysie gave me a stick and poke tonight to commemorate baby teeth. We each have been blessed with adult baby teeth. Mine have fallen extinct due to rotting but Kaysie's still stand strong.

Can't Stop Farting

2009-01-03T19:11:00.000-08:00

I spent the day toking, eating pizza, cooking with PHarrel1, and watching The Office.
Now my farts smell like puppy farts.
It feels like someone just did a giant fart in my face all day. Farted on my heart. Farted on my mind (brainfart). Farted in my face.
Life feels like a big fucking fart.
I don't know what to do with myself but sit and listen to the fart linger. Sometimes it makes me teary eyed. Sometimes it makes me sick. Sometimes it's too putrid to handle. When this fart goes away is when I'll feel okay again.
I don't like being farted on and having my life halted by it.
Fart on, Fuckers. Keep farting on people and you'll be left alone with nothing but your own farts in the end. Now that's Hell.

Tomorrow is my last day in Orlando. I don't want to anything too humiliating but defiantly something stupid.
I'll miss it here. Some of the farts going to die but I'm going to lose all my fellow farters.
Luckily, I have Kaysie here to correct my spelling and tell me "No, Stupid, he's Batman" when he is in fact a vampire.
Who's smarter now?

Love and my dandruff spot,
G

No Lallie This Year 2008

2008-12-24T23:48:00.001-08:00

South Florida is weird. I'm really confused and I just put my thumb in a wad of snot from my most recent sneeze. I also just farted and my brother's dog, named Pinny, is having a nightmare on the floor complimented by heavy breathing. Christmas isn't what it used to be. I don't even know if my little brother wrote out an extensive list of desires and needs this year. Actually, come to think of it, the last one I remember included Pokemon. He may be maturing but I highly doubt it. Maybe he's just too lazy to let his natural consumerist instinct take over his thinking. He did, nevertheless, show me his butt crack today while me and Jen popped his blackheads and I plucked a black hair (with blackhead tip) out of his back. The kid needs some Differin Gel and some Desitin Creamy. Put that on the list.
in other news, I will be carrying around a chewed up piece of gum looking rubber in my mouth for ten days. All the joys of bad genetics. It's okay though, I'm grateful it's not muting me and also that I have an entire pill bottle of pain killers at my disposal. I'm following the prescription instructions though, as not to relapse.
I don't know what I'll feel like when I get back to Orlando. Hopefully physically stabile but also emotionally secure. That's another thing I don't want to relapse. I have to remember all the things I forced myself to recognize these past months and use that to deal with the situations and then, if sane, follow my desire.
My parents have cable. I watched the Santa Claus 2...wish it was 3.
I'm bringing people back Christmas presidents. some are homemade, in highschool, and others are "found art" objects from either the Secret Room or my Secret Lair.
Tomorrow night my family is celebrating at my Nana's. It's going to be really upsetting because she is in such bad shape. Her stashes of mucus, poo, and urine underwear are stinking up her apartment. She can't control her excrement anymore. She just gets worse every time I see her.

Everyone got fat that I used to know in South Florida. I saw them at the local Publix today during the Christmas Eve rush.

Happy Hoelidays,
Ging

Aches All Over

2008-12-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

i am so bored and frustrated with sitting at home that I am going to kill myself. i wake up, drink water and kind of tea, take a lot of medicine and the pass out. This has been a consecutive three day ritual. I'm trying to talk and have some kind of communication but I get too excited and I start to feel bad again. It hurts to laugh and that part really sucks. I hope this is gone by tomorrow, I want to feel normal again.
Thankyou for taking care of me.

Peeing and Farting at the Same Time

2008-12-16T20:19:00.000-08:00

I have a really bad headache and I kind of have to piss right now.
Things are kind of...weiwd.
My friends are so ungrateful. They keep yelling at me and Birdie just farted squeaky.

blah blah blah blah poopy

2008-12-15T00:09:00.000-08:00

God, it sucks when you want to hit people.

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Skinny Dillhole says something stupid!

2008-12-13T11:57:00.001-08:00

Things are kind of weird right now.
Hurting people is terrible and it sucks to be the cause.
School is over and I'm thrilled yet quite apprehensive about the future.
"Will they like me?" and "Am I smart enough?" pop into my head often while I'm pooing, eating a corn dog, smoking a cigarette, coughing, and sleeping with lesbian dreams and homosexual wishes. I guess I will find out when I get there.
For now, I just want to hang out with all of the giant idiots I know here and cherish the time. Even though a lot of them are retarded, I really like them.

Fondly Yours,
Ginger vvvvv

P.S.
I really wish Birdie would just let me wear this shirt. Like, come on. Fucking Quinn!
And the warmest fart in existence just escaped my cornhole.

I Gwaduated!

2008-12-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today, I had my last day at Valencia Community College. This was by far the hippest experience of my entire life. That school was the coolest thing I've ever attended. I would like to thank the following for making it the most hip and young and blazin' place ever: PHarrel1 (when he wasn't a dick), English Class (for just being you!), my lesbian, steven pellot, that kid from English class, Joe Kaliwahcki, that kid with adult clear braces, and all the others. You guys are great!
In other news, I feel as charged as Adrien's new hairdo when he came back from Richmond. It's exhilarating, really! Besides my black lung, it's all working out nicely. There are mice int he kitchen, my room just kind of smells (in comparison to that red head nextdoor), Helen came today, and I'm moving in a month.
Farewell Orlando, you have served me well. Especially Ethos, the service there is outstanding! They even hire children there. How sweet!

Ok, gotta jet.
Your's Always,
Ginger Foutley

baa baa black sheep

2008-12-07T16:49:00.001-08:00

bad kitty.

I can't stop peeling my foot and now i can't walk on it

2008-11-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

My little brother is sitting in the kitchen with three friends and a girl eating McDonald's. He wants me to take him to the mall for Black Friday. That sounds like a nightmare tangled somewhere in the eye of a natural disaster. Like a tornado, but instead of wind, water, and hail it would be nikes, "fresh" hoodies, and Zoo York shirts. I can see why Jen is so miserbale here. My home has lost its life and is now a house.

Some people look good naked, some people look weird naked, and some people look scary naked.

2008-11-26T22:56:00.000-08:00

i remember this day. It was nice. Hanging out with Cory Feldman, the guy from N'SYNC's little brother, Robbie Williamsburg, Miller High Life, and Cinnamon Sticks.

2008-11-26T22:31:00.000-08:00

Well, I just made a really long post, tried to put very flattering pictures of myself in my old bedroom in it, and then accidently deleted it. Oops. Guess no one will hear about Jen's thong try on, Zack's weed homosexual sleepover, my mom's mysterious twenty year old boyfriend (a thought which makes me gag), or the group of three terrible pieces of shit Nina and I encountered on our drive home. Imagine all these things, highly elaborated on and overly described.
Being home used to be my escape into a land where hostility was rarely present, nostalgia was encouraged, and companionship was frequent and gratified. Now, it's none of those things. I'm by myself and scared to sleep in this room alone. I saw the frame of me and Louise immediately upon entering my room. It's one of the many souvenirs I will be retrieving this trip.

Yours Truly,
Nolan

I've Been Demoted!

2008-11-25T13:56:00.000-08:00

I just sat in art class at a table with my professor and his muse. She called my project idea "weak" and sat there resting her pink scrunchie socks in Birkenstocks on the table. I wanted to make a soccer ball. Simple and quick, it was for my dad. Teacher was apparently not a fan. Plus, I'm wearing an over-sized, striped, half turtle neck shirt right now and I think it's starting the strangle. My creativity is slumped and my circulation is cut off. And to put the icing on the cake, the cheese on the chalupa, the cherry popper on the caleb, Palmer isn't even here to check out my outfit and my chest. I love school and Valencia Community College is the coolest school in existence (Have you seen their commercials?), but today i just don't feel its power.
I get to see my Dad this weekend, and my Mom, and Fwack, and Jeff Jr., and Jim, and Jim's weiner. It should be better than this afternoon spent at school.
I'm ecstatic about my new book. From this one book I can connect all my knowledge and eventually make a giant poster board web of the physical, psychological, emotional, and war aspects of WWII. People will call it sick and me depraved.
I feel like eventually, by the end of my lifetime, I will have made webs for every interest I have. For literature, like the Canterbury Tales or all those "Girl's Books" I read when I was younger and how they affected my growth, or stunted. For Mythology, which i already started but then took Valenica Mythology and became uninspired. For experiences, like boys and sex and foreplay and fingering and Ben Kwellering and wet noodling (kind of like Alice Piezecki).
One day.
I have to go to class now and stare at my teachers grease curl paper cemented to her forehead while that kid stares at my turtle neck.
Tomorrow we will be floating along the sea, but Thursday we will hit land and encounter, abuse, and suppress. John Smith will discover Pocahontas. I will discover my dad sleeping in the office again. Zack has already discovered himself. It's going to be a beautiful Thanksgiving.

It's my whole fucking day

2008-11-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

Today I woke up with a really intense hangover. Then I ate a sandwich and took a shower. After I stood int he shower for twenty minutes wanting to sit down but feeling the mud-colored water at my ankles, made it somewhat less appealing. I wanted to though but if I did the snakes that I swear are going to pop out of the drain would bite my butthole. Then, I sat on the toilet, naked, letting period and piss drip for about ten minutes. I think I had a UTI this morning. After I managed to lift my fat-as-fuck ass off the John, I then threw my body into my bed once again, this time quite temperamental. Then I gave my boyfriend a handjob. Then I had to go to the mall to get my computer fixed but realized it was Squaterday and that the swarms were attacking. A bunch of bitches and dicktips driving jettas and PT Cruisers and Jaguars and Mustangs all over the parking lot, skidding and doing track stands and getting in the way. I had some free coffee from one America's finest corporations and stood in line next to a girl with braces on her teeth yet no wires connecting them. How do the teeth move if there aren't any wires pulling them this way, that way, and all the way to BFE? Then I let that kid I gave the handjob to earlier put makeup on me. There were 3 ladies in black, one of them interfered with my application and ripped the eyeshadow from his hands and slapped 5 slurpee spoons worth of blue on my vidiligo-sensitive eyelids.
Then, after being at the mall for an incredibly long amount of time, we left.
Then, handjob guy stole a tofurky from the Houlihans in Whole Foods and then potatoes from Pubelicks.
Then, we made dinner and watched Legally Blond. I popped his nose blackheads and it was like Old Faithful on crack. I did it once. Then, I gave him another handjob. Then, I sewed my pants and perioded a little in my underwear from laughing at Kaysie's story this morning about how she fared huge in the bed and thought her boyfriend had left...but he hadn't.

My mom is cool

2008-11-20T19:41:00.000-08:00

Ginger Foutley here, teehee if you haven't already guessed. Well, what can I say about myself? I guess if you combined every hot girl and then like every hotdog it would be me in a nutshell, getting nutted on.

J/K I am totally not as stupid as I sound. Sound Idea. That's in Tampa...and that's where Cult Ritual is from (they were in VICE...spread the word), oh and they are getting me a job at Urban Outfitters. Mall of Who Wants to be a Millionaire, come vivsit me (:.

Um, let's see what else can I say about myself...

My boyfriend is black.

My best friend looks like a guy and HER boyfriend has a nicer ass than her.

Nina is dating the singer of Cult Ritual, Dan Rollins, OMG! (I don't know why though, she told me she was a lesbian once...shh don't tell)

THIS IS ME: